Understanding Me

I am not quick witted. Hard to believe with my mind racing but that is part of the problem. You see my thoughts tend to be many and it’s difficult to pull a come back out when the conversation is moving. In fact, I can get very flustered when having a group discussion for a few reasons.

One – no matter how big or small the group is, when you add my thoughts to it, that’s a lot of noise to sort through. Even if having a serious discussion I can become overwhelmed. I have been known to tell my family to slow down and talk one at a time so that I can catch up. It’s more like so I can organize my ideas.

Two – I’m feeling left out. What, you’re asking. I want to be part of the conversation and when I can’t get my thoughts focused on the current topic, and I miss an opportunity to say something it’s – well it’s a lot of things. Needless to say, I’m blaming myself for not focusing hard enough, frustrated for not getting to make a good point and feeling left out since no one has even taken the time to ask me what I think.

Three – because of the first two I tend to be withdrawn, or when I start conversations, they tend to be more analytical. Most people don’t have the time to discuss, they would rather shoot the breeze and move on to the next subject. In today’s fast paced world I don’t seem to fit in.

Maybe that why I hate watching the news so much. I just can’t stand how they jump from one thing to the next with no emotional involvement. It seems soulless.

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