As you can tell I’m a very lucky woman, even with my faults and disorder. Like all human beings I’m trying to survive. I’ve just learned that my survival is unlike most and I’m want to share what I’ve learned in hopes that it might help others. So let’s recap.
For any good intimate relationship there are three points which must line up. The physical, emotional and mental. Like I said before any of those can be influenced by outside events. All things that can be worked on with communication, but for those who have are bipolar we have one more – chemical.
Chemical refers to our dopamine levels. We have no control over this and depending on your bipolar type can trigger depression, anxiety, fear, pleasure, pain, and many more. Dopamine can mess up both the physical and emotional.
I have rapid cycle type bipolar, so the chemical point in our intimate relationship is very hard to deal with. As Dirk stated we didn’t understand and communication was not always happening. I’m still learning to recognize when it interferes.
Remember when I said outside events can influence us. I have had to learn that when we are in an intimate moment and my pleasure turns to fear it’s not because of my past but because my chemical side has risen to high. Or if I suddenly lose interest in the moment it doesn’t mean I love my husband any less, just that my levels have dropped below the pleasure point.
We are finding are own ways to work through this but it requires communication. Our mental reason for intimacy may have to change from time to time so we can have a better relationship.
I don’t know if what we have said has made any sense to anyone. But we would love to hear feedback on how we can make this more understandable so that it can help others. If you have something to say that can be helpful on this subject please share.