Lingering Dread

An event happened about two years ago between me and another individual that could have been handled better with communication. I felt bullied and accused of “taking advantage of the situation”. I understand the other persons point of view and I can see how they may have felt that way and I thought we could work well together but they never treated me with respect or gave me the dignity of a proper conversation- I always had to have my husband around.

Even now years later I still have anxiety around this person- I have tried to be polite and friendly but can never talk to them about anything more than the weather. I don’t have a need to be liked by everyone (not everyone is compatible) but I would like to not go into panic mode or have an anxiety attack around people I’m not compatible with. Is that to much to ask?

Pain in the …

I was describing my bipolar affects to my father-in-law and how it effects my physical wellbeing.

Me: You know how you hear about the ones that totally loose it and take it out on others- that’s not me. I barely have the strength to get out of bed. You’re safe around me.

(Side note: I’m usually between a 5 or 8 during my lows and my health just falls apart- like old injuries start acting up; aka rib, strange cough, allergies.)

Celebrations

Well we had a blow your socks off type of day. My husband and daughter had a 5k race , then we all rode in the parade, followed by our ritual brunch at a local dinner. We also go a new addition to the chickens! To end it all we went to the largest firework display and concert- staring One Republic!

25/30

30 years ago I saw an unknown boy sitting in the front row of our church- at the time I was 15 and bold- after church was over I promptly went up and introduced myself, welcoming him to our small valley and invited him to our upcoming celebrations, including a personal horseback ride. By the time the Forth of July was over I had a new pen pal and admirer.

5 years later after many letters, dates and long conversations we were married in the Salt Lake LDS Temple. That was 25 years ago- it has not been easy- but because we love each other and want to understand each other we have continued to grow closer.

I love you honey- Happy Anniversary!