SETUP: I’ve just come back from feeding and breaking waters open at the barn. I’m cold and want to cuddle with my dogs.
ME: Druid you smell like corn chips!
MY MIND: Who had the bright idea to make food, that tastes what a dog smell like?
ME: Give a whole new meaning to the phrase Comfort Food.
After hearing Christmas songs play over and over again, you either tune them out or actually start to wonder about them. My daughters and I were discussing this and have come to the conclusion that Let it Snow was a guy’s guild to a conquest.
No, really. Think about it.
Guy 1: I’m telling you this will work. But you have to do it on a day you know it’s going to storm.
Guy 2: You want me to go to my girlfriend’s house in a blizzard?
Guy 1: No, just as the storm is starting and then when you get there say the road were frightening. Now you can use the excuse to come in and get warm by the fire since you have no place to go till the roads get cleared. And don’t drive a truck. That will make it too easy to send you on your way.
Guy 2: Ok I see where this is going, but she is going to be worried about things.
Guy 1: That’s why you bring a distraction. Say popcorn and a movie. Get the lights turned down. Get her in the mood. She should be good for some making out after the movie if you get something she likes. In those few hours the fire will have burned down and snow will have done its job. You will be snowed in without her even knowing.
Guy 2: (getting into the act) I hate going out in the cold. I’m sure I can make it home without freezing to death if I had you to hold me.
Guy 1: Now you’re getting it. Good for another half hour of kissing at the door and to finish it off say if you really love me you wouldn’t make me go. Boom! You’re staying the night!
I have come to the conclusion that Fahrenheit should be done away with for cold weather. It’s deceptive. For when you live in the country you have to monitor the weather. So that you can plug in the block heater – allowing it to heat your diesel truck, so you can drive off when needed.
Now here is the problem. For Fahrenheit freezing is at 32° whereas Celsius is 0°. That is a huge difference. I think people in the U.S. tend to forget that when it reads 0° that it’s already 32° below freezing!
Now when it read -10°F or -42°C, birds get stuck to branches, water tanks freeze solid, and it’s cold enough to knock out power. I kid you not.
I was trying to write when the power went out, and because it was so cold, the backup battery couldn’t start the generator. We had to go out and jumpstart the thing – with the heated diesel engine! That’s freaking cold folks!
I don’t do cold.