Medical Wonder

Dirk and I were talking about the available medications compared to when I was first diagnosed. My choices were limited to five for the first few years. Now I can find a list of over fifty. That’s a big growth in the last twenty years- but is it really?

The human brain could still be considered a “last frontier” for understanding DNA chemistry – someday when we have a better way of learning each individuals chemical makeup can we create medicine that is beneficial. Unlike now where they are baiting Doctors to test their latest pill to see how many fish they can hook.

Lingering Dread

An event happened about two years ago between me and another individual that could have been handled better with communication. I felt bullied and accused of “taking advantage of the situation”. I understand the other persons point of view and I can see how they may have felt that way and I thought we could work well together but they never treated me with respect or gave me the dignity of a proper conversation- I always had to have my husband around.

Even now years later I still have anxiety around this person- I have tried to be polite and friendly but can never talk to them about anything more than the weather. I don’t have a need to be liked by everyone (not everyone is compatible) but I would like to not go into panic mode or have an anxiety attack around people I’m not compatible with. Is that to much to ask?

Pain in the …

I was describing my bipolar affects to my father-in-law and how it effects my physical wellbeing.

Me: You know how you hear about the ones that totally loose it and take it out on others- that’s not me. I barely have the strength to get out of bed. You’re safe around me.

(Side note: I’m usually between a 5 or 8 during my lows and my health just falls apart- like old injuries start acting up; aka rib, strange cough, allergies.)


Had a rough day yesterday- lost one of the baby chickens, the nest then got flooded out and mama refused to go back to the eggs. Had to find an emergency incubator but we don’t know if the eggs will hatch. I also dump weed killer all over me because I forgot to put the lid on my backpack spray and got burnt because I spent longer than I excepted cleaning up the little truck.

And that is why I didn’t post yesterday.

Beating the pavement

Our little trucks transmission is going out and we are starting the search for its replacement. It’s 17 years old and has a few dents and rusted spots but still get us to hear and there (within 20 miles) without grumbling. It’s been a great little truck. My girls grew up in the back of that Ranger into the front seats. We’ve been on many camping, 4-digging, and horseback riding trip (the reason the transmission is going- sorry baby red). It’s still our go to vehicle for quick trips to town or Sunday drives in the hills. Well it was- now I’m out looking for a replacement and not happy with my options.