Things that go bump

While scrolling through funny memes I was reminded of an event that happened when I was a teenager- my parents had taken me to see Phantom of the Opera for my graduation present, and I had picked up a shirt with the phantoms mask – I was so excited to wear it to school the next day that I had laid it over a chair so the design wouldn’t crease before going to bed.

In the middle of the night I woke up – rolled over and found myself staring into a pale face! Many thoughts ran through my head – had someone broken into the house, was I going to be kidnaped, what could I grab to defend myself, could I at least put on clothes – and that’s when I realized I was looking at my new shirt. The mask part was glowing and it looked like someone was looking at me in the moonlight. 

I don’t leave that shirt out at night anymore.

You dog!

Today was full of excitement- must be the full moon- but I’m only going to tell you one story that happened.

My oldest is now living with us again and had a short work schedule so I allowed one of her dogs to stay home with my two. Percy, the tall -toothless- white borzoi is a good boy for the most part but I have had problems with him running into the highway  or off to the DWR property behind our neighbors house so when I heard horns blaring this morning I panic. I was afraid one of the dogs was in the road but I found all three dogs laying in the living room.

I relaxed and returned to making my breakfast. Toasted banana bread with butter. I had just replaced the butter when I heard more honking and braking tires. This was not good. I noticed that my neighbor’s cow from across the street had gotten free and was playing frogger with the morning traffic. I dropped everything and rushed out to take care of it- which was fairly easier than we thought it would be.

When I returned into the house I was greeted by an unexpected sight. Druid was laying in the living room licking the carpet crazily, Hickory was sniffing around, and Percy was standing in the kitchen looking guilty. Instantly I thought I had lost my breakfast to the three opportunist but the bread was still sitting on the counter. What was missing? The stick of butter – and when I tried to replace it – the culprit stepped forward and drooled for more!

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised- his mother liked to do the same thing. (aka- my oldest daughter)

Do I have a story

Today was definitely not boring. I had the pleasure of reporting four idiots and watching them be ticketed.

About two weeks ago our mountain side burned down due to idiots target practicing on DWR land- a fire I documented and had the privilege of one of my pictures being featured on the front page of the local newspaper. Today I heard some gun shots and noticed that the shooters were not in the burnt area so I decided to take a closer look with my telescope- what I saw disturbed me.

Two men were shooting high power rifles and drinking. I called dispatch and proceeded to record with my phone through the scope the morons shooting out of the back of their truck into the unburnt grass- pretty much in the same area the fire started. Only that the only way it could burn now was directly towards all the homes and me. 

First on the scene was Highway Patrol on his motorcycle, then one county sheriff and then another. I really enjoyed watching them be handed tickets and being escorted off the property.

That alone made my day, but there was more. A few hours later- right after I had told my husband the story- we noticed two vehicles pull into the DWR property. At least these guys had the brains to practice in the burnt area, or so we thought- until we saw them pull out a microwave and high powered gun. Guess who I called?

This time DWR was going out and asked us to keep in touch if anything happened as they were coming from a distance- about the time he got to my house – the microwave blew up! They had put a binary explosive target in it! That poor officer had to stay up there for the longest time while they picked up every piece of that unit, but he did have plenty of time to write up their tickets.

For the Love of Birds

While out doing my visiting teaching we were discussing the eagerness of spring and how ready we are for it. The conversation turned to last year’s lack of snow that caused us to have more animal sighting -like last year’s mountain lion – this year the coyotes were very vocal.

As we talked about the cycles that nature goes through my visiting companion and neighbor who lives directly behind me mentioned that she had seen a condor on my back pasture post.

I just about fell out of my chair. I asked if it was a California Condor? The description was given, and I could not contain my excitement. Let me share with you what I shared with them.

When I was young, I was given a chance to intern at the San Diego Wild Animal Park – as it was called in my day – thanks to my grandparent’s contribution and support. It just so happens that during this time they had recently started the condor recovery project and that some eggs had hatched. I was one of the few that got to feed with the puppet since we were not allowed to touched. I can still remember the loud screeches and squawking of all the birds.

About the time I graduated from high school the first condors had been released. And when my children were born they were just making it into Utah.

Here it was now over 30 years from my first meeting, and the condors had made it to my back yard in northern Utah. I couldn’t help but think, my baby had come home.

Today I Rant

I have been trying to get some of my stories published, and my most recent work I submitted was a Christmas children’s story that I wrote for my daughter’s golden birthday when she was ten years old – It is how she got her Christmas stocking design.

I am at a crossroads or in a dilemma as to what to do next as I have been rejected again.  Part of the problem could be that I have a very narrow view of publishers that I approve of – this has limited my choices. Do I change my standards to fit into the world’s view of things just to get my words printed?

So ticked off at my choices right now.  This is not helping my mood.


Any Last Words

As any twisted person, I contemplate dying and what I would say to loved ones – or any nearby person – right before I die to mess with their heads.

-Death before taxes

-Can you hear my heart beat?

-I bet you want to know where I hid –

-Come closer I have something to tell *long drawn out pause*  BOO!


– *While staring above everyone’s heads* Couldn’t you have picked me up in the chariot?

– *While staring at the foot of the bed* What do you mean horns? I ordered a halo!

And my favorite

-Oh one last breath *gasp*, oh give me *gasp* one last *gas-*