To my imposter

Recently we discovered that a claim had been made on our insurance – or more accurately I had made. The elaborate story that was told involves me and a rental truck – that I didn’t know how to drive – all in Las Vegas with my daughter.

It was rude to make a false claim and to lie but did you have to insult me too – can’t drive a truck my #%%!

Don’t hold anything back

We’ve gone through our regular nightly routine of sink swapping and I’m about to get into bed and a huge belch comes out.

Dirk: Is that how you really feel about it?

Me: Yea. That pretty much sums it up.

Dirk: Do you have any more you need to say?

Me: No I’m good. Got it all out and in the open.

How the Monday started

I’ve been hearing a lot of things that aren’t actually happening – thanks to my overactive Mind and anxiety. So when the doorbell went off earlier yesterday morning, I wasn’t to sure if I was dreaming. Then there was pounding, which set the dogs off – now I knew I was awake. I was on my way down the stairs when the doorbell rang again but when I opened it – no one was there!

I started to freak out – the dogs though were still acting like there was something out there – was I hearing things or were the dogs ? Either way the odds didn’t look good.

I called out “Hello?”

Footsteps could be heard out of sight on the frosty driveway. Then a man appeared. “Oh, you are home.”

I released the hounds.

The unsettled man is now trying to explain while two dogs sniff him over. “I’m from the power company, your power poll has a piece of malfunctioning equipment that we need to change out. Should only take about fifteen minutes.”

At this point I’m just glad it’s real.

You again!?!

When I was sixteen I was involved in many school activities that had me burning the candle at both ends. After many early mornings, lunches without meals, late nights and extra practices my body began to break down. First I lost a lot of weight, then my knee went out and to add insult to injury I found three grey hairs.

That was twenty-nine years ago, and guess what I just found?

Things that go bump

While scrolling through funny memes I was reminded of an event that happened when I was a teenager- my parents had taken me to see Phantom of the Opera for my graduation present, and I had picked up a shirt with the phantoms mask – I was so excited to wear it to school the next day that I had laid it over a chair so the design wouldn’t crease before going to bed.

In the middle of the night I woke up – rolled over and found myself staring into a pale face! Many thoughts ran through my head – had someone broken into the house, was I going to be kidnaped, what could I grab to defend myself, could I at least put on clothes – and that’s when I realized I was looking at my new shirt. The mask part was glowing and it looked like someone was looking at me in the moonlight. 

I don’t leave that shirt out at night anymore.

You dog!

Today was full of excitement- must be the full moon- but I’m only going to tell you one story that happened.

My oldest is now living with us again and had a short work schedule so I allowed one of her dogs to stay home with my two. Percy, the tall -toothless- white borzoi is a good boy for the most part but I have had problems with him running into the highway  or off to the DWR property behind our neighbors house so when I heard horns blaring this morning I panic. I was afraid one of the dogs was in the road but I found all three dogs laying in the living room.

I relaxed and returned to making my breakfast. Toasted banana bread with butter. I had just replaced the butter when I heard more honking and braking tires. This was not good. I noticed that my neighbor’s cow from across the street had gotten free and was playing frogger with the morning traffic. I dropped everything and rushed out to take care of it- which was fairly easier than we thought it would be.

When I returned into the house I was greeted by an unexpected sight. Druid was laying in the living room licking the carpet crazily, Hickory was sniffing around, and Percy was standing in the kitchen looking guilty. Instantly I thought I had lost my breakfast to the three opportunist but the bread was still sitting on the counter. What was missing? The stick of butter – and when I tried to replace it – the culprit stepped forward and drooled for more!

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised- his mother liked to do the same thing. (aka- my oldest daughter)