Medical Wonder

Dirk and I were talking about the available medications compared to when I was first diagnosed. My choices were limited to five for the first few years. Now I can find a list of over fifty. That’s a big growth in the last twenty years- but is it really?

The human brain could still be considered a “last frontier” for understanding DNA chemistry – someday when we have a better way of learning each individuals chemical makeup can we create medicine that is beneficial. Unlike now where they are baiting Doctors to test their latest pill to see how many fish they can hook.

Brain on Fire

If you ever get the chance to read or watch the story of Susannah Cahalan I would highly recommend it. It gives an interesting insight into psychiatric diagnoses. Although the story is not about mental illness it certainly covers the lack of knowledge and how quick doctors are to prescribe pills.

When I was first diagnosed they tried many different pills on me – I felt more like a Guinea pig than a patient, and my body rejected most of them. Human chemistry is a fascinating thing. What works for one person can fatally harm another. Thus the reason for so many different drugs out there for doctors to test on us. Surely if something is not working then change it – but remember that no one knows your body better than you do.

Lingering Dread

An event happened about two years ago between me and another individual that could have been handled better with communication. I felt bullied and accused of “taking advantage of the situation”. I understand the other persons point of view and I can see how they may have felt that way and I thought we could work well together but they never treated me with respect or gave me the dignity of a proper conversation- I always had to have my husband around.

Even now years later I still have anxiety around this person- I have tried to be polite and friendly but can never talk to them about anything more than the weather. I don’t have a need to be liked by everyone (not everyone is compatible) but I would like to not go into panic mode or have an anxiety attack around people I’m not compatible with. Is that to much to ask?

This is cursed

I have a bad reaction to people who curse constantly- I shun them. I’m not offended by their lack of verbal communication skills but the fact that it reminds me of my darker side. I curse like a sailor when depressed but I don’t make people listen to it. Having to hear people curse when I’m trying to watch a documentary and their cursing gets to be more the focus than the information I’m trying to learn just makes me frustrated. I want to be enlightened not reminded of my shortcomings.

To my imposter

Recently we discovered that a claim had been made on our insurance – or more accurately I had made. The elaborate story that was told involves me and a rental truck – that I didn’t know how to drive – all in Las Vegas with my daughter.

It was rude to make a false claim and to lie but did you have to insult me too – can’t drive a truck my #%%!