Banishment 

Yesterday my nerves were so frazzled that I could not post anything in fear that I would unleash hell. 

Have you ever been so frustrated that your body feels like it’s going to burst out in profanities and road rage, if your jaw hadn’t been locked in place from the tension that was festering from the depths of a blackening soul?

It was for everyone’s safety that I was banished to my room.

The Lost Blogs

I have discovered that some of my blogs are missing … where they have gone, I do not know … along with what I posted. Just like my mind, I have no idea of what was said days ago. But I have figured out that the postings were done on my iPad which has a tendency to lose internet connections making me reset the thing.

So now I have a choice – do I go back and fill in the missing days just to be OCD or leave it alone because it would break the rule of being random. I’m so conflicted!

Oh Crap

I remembered an old joke about a couple who were traveling when the call of nature hit urgently, and the only place they could find was a biker bar. As they asked where the bathroom was, they could feel all faces on them.

‘It’s upstairs on your left they were told’ – the wife took off, leaving the husband behind to deal the loud and rough group in the room. Entering the first left-hand door, she was surprised to find a small room with only a tin can sticking out of the floor, but she could not stop – she had to go.

Finished with her dirty deed, she was glad to have her purse and extra supplies so she could clean up before returning downstairs but that is when she noticed how quiet it was. Afraid for her husband’s life she hurried down to find the bar empty and smelling rank. It was by far the worst bar she had ever been in and would certainly be leaving a nasty comment about it. Heading outside she found her husband along with all the bar patrons in animated conversation while spraying themselves down with water.

As it was a hot day, she thought maybe it was some kind of fun activity and joined her husband. After the wash down the men starting talking about the incident.

‘Which incident,’ she asked.

The men look at her in disbelief. ‘Where were you when the Shit hit the fan?’

 

That was the joke, but I have always wondered what happened after that. My life right now seems to be at that stage – crap everywhere, and I’m not sure how or where to start the clean-up. Sometimes I wish I could be like the monkeys from Madagascar – ‘Of course, we are going to fling poo’ or ‘If you have poo, fling it now.’ At least I could get rid of it.